Glow
by Anrheithwyr
Summary: She wasn't sure why, but Luna made her feel special. And Padma had always wanted to feel special-she wanted to glow like Luna did.


_**Written for the 'HP Potions Competition' by Black Boxed for the category **__**Shrinking potion**__** – Write about someone who feels unimportant. **_

_**Also for the 'Out Of Your Comfort Zone Competition' by Cheeky Slytherin Lass, using the pairing Padma/Luna and the prompt 'glow'. **_

….

Luna glowed, and Padma sparkled. Luna was the eternal night, mysterious and full of secrets. Padma was the day, an open book for all to see. Luna believed in that which could not be seen-she loved the idea of an entire world existing, even if she could never see it; Padma believed in facts, things she could see and touch and prove.

Padma remembered the little blonde Ravenclaw, a year behind her. Luna had been loud and eccentric, with rituals beyond the most OCD stickler in Ravenclaw. She proclaimed her beliefs in things like the Crumple-Horned Snorkack, and Thestrals. Luna lived in a fantasy world, and Padma would never have condoned foolishness or nonsense, not like that.

And, yet, after the war, it's _only _Luna she wanted to see, only Luna she wanted to talk to. Parvati could get nothing out of her, nor could Madame Pomfrey. Not even Dean, her boyfriend, could get her to speak about what had happened, what she had seen. But Luna, sweet, crazy Luna, came into the hospital wing with a flower she claimed would bring back Padma's voice.

Padma couldn't help but laugh at that, and she explained that she _could _talk, but she chose not to. After all, what was there to talk about? The castle had been destroyed, her friends were dead. She hadn't even technically graduated Hogwarts-her only true goal up to this point. Padma wasn't sure why, but she felt compelled to talk to this girl, explain how she felt.

The best part was that Luna seemed to understand exactly how she felt. Luna understand what it felt like to be lonely, and sad, and on the fringe of society. She knew how to comfort a broken heart, mend a smashed soul; Luna was kind, and caring, and of the non-judging sort. The only thing was-Padma hadn't expected to fall in love with her.

Padma had thought she liked Dean, in the beginning. He was calm, collected, fairly intelligent-all things she looked for in a mate. Dean was stable, and she liked him, honestly. She thought he was attractive, and a damn good kisser. But, Dean didn't make her flush and ache with desire the way Luna did, and Padma wasn't sure why.

But she knew she liked it.

….

"Lotus flowers," Luna explained, pulling down the sheet off her latest artistic masterpiece. "It's lotus flowers, just like you. What do you think?"

"It's beautiful," Padma murmured quietly, blinking in awe of the large painting of the two flowers, their stems intertwined. She was always amazed by Luna's talent, but this painting was particularly magnificent; she could barely stand to look away, because the painting glowed, and so did Luna, with happiness.

"Thank you, Padma. You're very kind to say that." Luna said, and Padma could almost detect a slight blush under Luna's pale cheeks. Padma couldn't help but instinctively move closer to Luna, wanting to touch her, hold her hand, and kiss her lips. But, Padma's mother was downstairs, and Padma didn't want to be caught with Luna, behaving in the way girls oughtn't.

Padma knew that Luna didn't seem to give a damn about titles, or definitions. Luna had told her about the short summer fling with Neville, which had been shortly followed by an experimental four months with Pansy Parkinson. Luna, if Padma _had _to label her, would have been metrosexual, but mostly, she just didn't _care. _

And, strangely, Padma loved her for that. She loved the fact that Luna was unpredictable; Padma had once had wonderful time with Luna and Pansy, something she had never expected to do before the Battle of Hogwarts. She loved Luna, and she loved being _around _Luna. She loved the _idea _of Luna, and she loved the fact that Luna loved her back.

But, sometimes, it was hard to deal with the fact that she knew it wasn't what her parents wanted, it wasn't what Dean wanted of her. They all pressed Padma to pick a man-and _now_, because she was twenty-three, and not getting any younger. She found it hard to cope with the fact that she and Luna were not a _permanent _thing, even if she wanted them to be.

_Lesbian_-that's what she was, even if Padma never wanted to admit it in the light of day. She liked girls, not boys, and that was something Padma usually kept locked up deep inside of her. Only Luna and Pansy knew, and Padma wasn't sure what she would do if anyone else ever found out. She was embarrassed to admit it, because her parents had always told her she would marry a boy, and fall in love.

Did this mean she was no longer the perfect daughter she had always strived to be?

….

She held Luna's hand one last time, as the blonde smiled at her, her eyes glowing with joy as she spoke about a strange man she had met in July, a fellow researcher named Rolf, who was sweet and believed in Crumple-Horned Snorkack. Padma's heart strained as she listened to Luna speak, every part of her wanting to demand that Luna _stop _talking about him right now.

Luna was supposed to be _hers_, her happy ever after. Padma's true love, the knight in shining armor, come to rescue her from a dull life of overbearing parents and boys that she had no interest in. Luna was supposed to bring something special to her life, not take it all away. And it was all that Scamander boy's fault, because he had ensnared Luna with his joyful laugh and his own quirks.

Once again, only Padma was left behind, wanting for someone she could never have. Having to settle for the position of best friend, instead of only love. She had never been her parent's favourite-that was Parvati. She had never been the girlfriend Dean desired-that was Ginny. And now, even beautiful Luna was leaving her.

Did she not get a happy ending? Was that it-did she just not earn a happy faery tale to end all faery tales? Well, she had always known the world was a cruel place, but now it was just being a sick, vindictive bastard, slowly taking away everything she loved.

Once again, Padma fell silent.

….

_Sweet, gentle kisses_. _Hands touching other hands, hands touching body. Heat and passion, combined to make the sweetest love. That was all Padma wanted, someone to touch her, and kiss her, and tell her they loved _her _best. She was tired of being second to everyone else, tired of not quite good enough._

_She wanted to be the number one in someone's life, the best thing they'd ever had. She was tired of excuses and being pushed around-she was tired of people telling her how to live her life, even as they were only settling for her. _

_She wanted someone to love her for her, not for what she represented. She didn't want to be the next best choice. She wanted to be the best, and she knew who she wanted to be the best for. _

_She wanted Luna. _

_She wanted to glow like Luna did. _


End file.
